When I was in utero

My mum read to me and started a pretty impressive library for me.

I upset my mum immensely by making tea taste horrible. She thought missing out on alcohol was going to be the hardest part of these nine months, but she had no idea how bad it would be to crave tea non-stop and get no satisfaction.
I visited Dad's offices at Parliament House, and listened to endless hours of question time on the radio whenever parliament was sitting.

I had a stellar comedy education. I went to live performances by Daniel Kitson (multiple times) and French & Saunders, plus some awesome locals like Rod Quantock, Hannah Gadsby, Courteney Hocking and lots more.

I've been to Sydney, Canberra and all over country Victoria. I made my parents rethink their trip to India, though, and we stayed in Australia.

I loved visiting Hepburn Springs, where Mum took me to swim in mineral springs for hours. It calmed us both down and soothed our aches and pains.

News of me made my family very happy. My grandmothers especially. They couldn't wait to meet me.

I kicked, prodded and poked my Mum for around six months straight. She's convinced I'm a kickboxer or tapdancer in training.

I kept everyone guessing what kind of alien I am! Turns out nearly everyone thought that I would be Kuatu. Guess what? I am. Well done people, well done.

Nearly everyone seemed to think I would be a boy. Which is lucky, because my parents still weren't sure what they would call me if I were a girl. I guess they just knew I was Avery all along.

I liked listening to music, especially the sountrack to Oh Brother Whereart Thou?

I made my mum crave kiwi fruit. Lots and lots of kiwi fruit. She also blamed me for the ice-cream cravings, but that was just her being greedy for ice-cream.

My mum spent lots of time watching television. Really bad television. Which means that when I'm born I expect I'll find the theme tune to Midsomer Murders or Law & Order will be my idea of a lullaby.

My favourite time of the day was meditation time. When we did our meditation CD I would calm down.

Thanks to the lovely Senator Scott Ludlam, I got to meet the Dalai Lama. That's me at eight months inside Mum (on the front left). Check my dad's dorky smile in the middle back.