Employed. Finally.

Perfect. Totally perfect. I have my ideal job for me right here and now. I'll be working for a local council 3 days per week (on a better than good wage) doing event managing civic events such as International Women's Day, Australia Day and a bunch of other stuff.

It's ideal hours to balance other work, get myself into more of a routine and finish off a couple of projects that I have underway. I will be working for a council which shares my values, is enthusiastic about me learning with them rather than coming in as an expert and really give me a chance to apply all my previous experience to a more "professional" environment.

Now I just have to keep up my deal with myself and try to keep writing, editing and pushing my creative work too.

Go me.

Job interviews make me fluttery

I had my job interview for a great position I would love to get today. It's an events management position at the Darebin council here in the good ol' northern suburbs of Melbourne.

Really exciting job (in terms of new challenges, great extension of my current skills), great people and a chance to work on things I'm really passionate about. Loads of community involvement, loads of 'minority' work - indigenous, multicultural, womens and enviro. It's essentially event managing International Women's Day (yay, oh yay!), Australia Day, Citizenship ceremonies, Commonwealth Games and other such fun activities. It's perfect. It's even just 3 days per week (for a 5 day price!). Now I just have to stop getting my hopes up. Even after my terrific (and dare I say... fun?) interview. I put my best face (and foot) forward, was totally honest about my ideas, experience and weaknesses... now I just have to wait to hear back.

It was fantastic to just put my case forward for a job. I'm tired of sending off applications which go out into the ether. Getting a polite 'thanks but no thanks' letter without being able to show these people what you can do is worse than somebody else being better than you. And I've got a pretty good chance at some other media work I applied for too. Things are looking up (or so I like to tell myself!) and I'm feeling more positive.

Bored and aimless seeks same

I have no reason to be bored and aimless... but I am. I haven't had a computer for the week (my laptop Punky is in getting quoted for repair) and I'm finally at the boy's house (he's not even here to distract me!) where I could write, email, apply for jobs, work or any number of other useful tasks - but I don't wanna. I even have my Monthly here (which I haven't had time to read yet) and I still haven't gotten past being bored and aimless.

I think it's the job thing.

I really think that not working is killing me - I'm fixated on finding work so I can make myself get up everyday, drag myself out of this slump I'm currently in and start fixing these gaping holes of guilt I have at the moment about how I'm living. I need to start sleeping normal hours (I'm back to the 4/5am sleep, wake up at 2/3pm cycle again), start feeling like I have energy, use my damn gym membership, stop feeling paralysed by my money situation and start making positive choices for my life. Not happening at the moment.

Maybe its naive to think that these things will get better if I work - but I don't think so. I think it's more about the fact that I need to feel a drive, or a sense of motion to something in my life at the moment. Rab is done (for the minute), Vibewire is ticking along, NSMC is in down-time (although I still haven't finalised all my thank-you's and the long list of drinks I owe people for their time and help) and my writing is pretty much up to speed. I need a new challenge.

WHERE ARE YOU JOB???

I had a weird week last week on the job front though. I had to apply for positions directly to people I knew, one of whom I had just spoken to after not seeing them for ages. Erin, one of the former directors of NSMC, has a position going at her work that would be great for me - and I'd just spoken to her about catching her and Alex for drinks to say my NSMC 2005 thanks (without her help I would have had no clue how to get so much of the conference done, and Alex came up to speak at the conference which was great). It was good/bad timing. It felt so false to be seeing her for the first time in ages and hitting her up for a job... she didn't seem to mind but if I were her I would have thought the coincidence reached a bit far. I couldn't think of a way to say 'hey, when I tried to organise a catch up I didn't realise I was going to see a job advert 3 days later with your company which I would have to directly apply to you for... what a coincidence!' but I couldn't think of a way to say it without sounding like it actually wasn't a coincidence. I just hope I get the position anyhow (and that she didn't take it that way)...

And yet still I'm bored (for no reason). I need an energy boost... except that I'm also permanently afraid of not sleeping at the moment. With good reason considering I'm not sleeping (properly). I'm considering going back to the sleep clinic... eek. I hate that idea. But I need to do something considering all this non-sleeping stuff is driving me crazy. Yes, it's the not sleeping and not having a job thing. And the no money thing. Ok... it's the no job, no sleep, no money being a poor little uni student (who doesn't want to be a uni student anymore) thing. It's the thing we are all doing or have done over the past how many years.

Maybe I should just accept the inevitable and go back on my medication. I'm much less depressed and angry about the horrible state of the world (or my life) when I do that.

Protesting

Go the IR protesters today! Really wish I had dragged my ass into town to join the estimated 175,000 people who marched. It raises some interesting questions about what kind of dissent is most popular and/or useful. Should I be sitting here writing articles and working on issues which provide a commentary or perspective on current issues, or am I better to get out there and protest?

I've done plenty of rallies, and I never mind a good march. There is a warm fuzzy feeling you get from standing alongside people who are just as outraged as you are, especially when compared to the vacuum effect of writing at your computer or yelling at a newspaper; sometimes it's easy to feel isolated when the majority of people around you seem to be 'going with the flow' rather than standing up for what they believe in. But is that the only purpose for a rally? Anti-war rallies were greeted with Howard's public statements that protesting would not change the government's directions over Iraq, and it's hard to image they will feel any different over IR rallies. So why do we do it? There was a really good article on Vibewire about this a little while ago. It promoted a lot of debate on the site.

I tend to think that any change comes through education - the more information in the public arena which offers debate/reflection on otherwise narrow issues the better. It's why I'm more a publisher than an activist (although obviously that's a form of activism in itself), and why I'm here at my computer rather than in the streets. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself and neither way will really provide change. Although I don't think that's true. My politics have been formed by finding alternative media sources (and people) who are prepared to tell me more facts than a government propaganda campaign. By finding journalists, authors and publications which I 'trust' I have been able to form my own opinions. I hope that by writing, editing and supporting alternative media I help keep those roads open for other people who want to do the same.

VSU on the back burner?

Published: Vibewire 12 October 2005

Not a victory, but possibly a temporary relief for student unions and guilds all over the country today after Nelson publicly confirms VSU is no longer a top priority to pass through Parliament and Joyce insists he is prepared to cross the floor to block the current legislation.

After a lengthy and public battle with universities, student associations and widespread political opposition it seems the Howard government are prepared to hold off their push to pass the legislation in time for the next academic year.

Barnaby Joyce has made his presence felt again in Parliament by holding strong on his anti-VSU stance, insisting he and the Nationals will not accept the current legislation. He has continued to call for an alternative model, insisting that regional and rural campuses need the services provided by university sports centres, child-care services and other campus based facilities. Unless these are provided for by the legislation he will refuse to allow the legislation to pass. He has insisted this is another issue he is prepared to cross the floor over.

This determination has lead to Dr Nelson’s comments to The Age today which make clear his intention to focus Parliamentary attentions elsewhere “the Government's position is that industrial relations reforms and a number of other legislative measures we've got, take priority over the VSU," he stated. He went further, saying "I'm concerned that the crowded legislative agenda that we have, may make it difficult for universities to actually implement it barely a month after its passage through Parliament," flagging his intention to stop the legislation coming into effect until after the 2006 academic year. While The Age believes he has already informed vice-chancellors he will not impose the legislation at such short notice, Howard has already informed the press "I would expect the VSU legislation would be introduced this year."

It’s an interesting picture heading into the end of the academic year. While it certainly doesn’t mean VSU is no longer on the agenda, it is clear that Nelson’s hard line stance about pushing the legislation through Parliament as soon as possible has been compromised. For student organisations it means the opportunity for another full year of funding is probable. This will allow further anti-VSU campaigns (even those around ‘service-based’ VSU) to be mounted, more planning for the future of student organisations under a possible VSU system and better negotiating time-lines for student union staff.

But is it too late? Many in the anti-VSU campaign have been disillusioned which the ease Labor, the Nationals and many lobbying groups have been prepared to settle for a service-based VSU model before the government has even begun to entertain the idea of negotiating. Many students have given up listening and participating in anti-VSU campaigns while student organisations have been distracted trying to negotiate a sustainable future with their university.

Another year of funded student organisations is welcome, but not the answer. It doesn’t give an answers to employees living with the constant fear of losing their jobs under VSU, nor does it provide a platform from which organisations can find a way forward. Some universities hae committed to funding for services on their campuses, while others are yet to negotiate with student unions at all. Hope is on the horizon at least for the short term, but no solution seems imminent.

Unemployment makes me sad

I'm unemployed in the ways that count, and employed in the ways that do. Makes no sense? Yes it does...

I'm employed in the ways that count - I love doing , love working on Vibewire, love working on the National Student Media Conference. I'm an editor with a massive budget at Rab, I feel like working on the politics/opinion side of Vibewire is reaching my aims in terms of building my understanding (and I hope not just mine) of our political landscape and my participation in it, and NSMC is an awesome chance to flex my events management muscle again.

I'm unemployed in the way that I receive little to no money for doing jobs that take up hours and hours and hours and hours of my life. Rabelais pays like crap, Vibewire doesn't pay and neither does NSMC. It's fine to say sure, follow your passion... but what about the fact that my passion leaves me in poverty? I don't make enough money to pay my bills, reduce my debt and/or maintain a lifestle that can buy goats cheese (I refuse to relegate this to the category of 'luxury').

If I were an accountant, this would not be so. My dedication would be rewarded with a paid job, a fast track to an even better paid job... maybe even financial stability! Am I saying anything new? No. Am I going to see that change? No. But I still continue to resent how undervalued creative people are in our society. Undervalued, underresourced, underpaid (unless you sell out and then make millions producing drivel) and underimpressed in my case.

But what choice do I have? I'm applying for full time work at the moment. It's horrile (which is why I'm so bitter right now). I hate applying for positions I don't feel confident in getting. It's not because I'm applying for unrealistic jobs, it's just that because I haven't finished uni (and don't want to unless I have no other choice) but have instead focused on working on as many practical projects and jobs as possible, I still feel unqualified. But uni just isn't for me (or my uni anyway). While I love intellectual debate, thrive on critical writing... I can't seem to find my groove with uni. I can't get to the point where I make it to classes, get my assignments in and feel like I'm learning. Which is so funny considering how well I managed to pass high school and how suited my personality is to an environment all about learning and stretching into new areas. But it just hasn't been like that... uni has been unfulfilling in every sense - except working on Rabelais... which if I'm honest, is the only reason I'm still at La Trobe at all.

So jobs. I'm paranoid about my resume, convinced it doesn't reflect my passion or my dedication to working my ass off in the arts and journalism. What am I doing wrong?! Why can't I get a job, find work, stop worrying, start getting paid? I will take the shittiest of the shitty jobs - as long as it's in my field. I just want a chance to start (and get paid).

'Men and Women of Australia' Our Greatest Modern Speeches

Published: Vibewire 03 November 2005

Sometimes first impressions are wrong. At first glance, Men and Women of Australia - Our Greatest Modern Speeches is a good book. It assembles some of the finest speeches given by or for Australians. Unfortunately, as much as I wanted to enjoy it, I found this collection disappointing.

Editor Michael Fullilove is right in pointing out in his introduction that those making speeches “are taking a stand – and taking a risk.” The same can be said of his job. Anyone assembling a ‘collection’ of best speeches, essays or other intellectual work is always going to face a hard task. One man’s favourite speech is another man’s boring drivel. For this collection though, there were a few issues that raised eyebrows enough to spoil my enjoyment.

Firstly, there are the stories. Apparently Fullilove was threatened with being blocked from the appropriate copyright from Hansard if he did not include speeches from John Howard. Debate still ensues about the accuracy of that one. True or not, only one of the speeches included by Howard seems even slightly worthy of inclusion. His ‘We All Smell the Same Eucalypt’ is a sad and sorry excuse for a rousing or moving speech. The dawn service speech he delivered in 2002 is however, is touching, and we can assume it would have been far more than that for those listening to it in Turkey. So were his editorial choices dictated by a forced hand as much as by a desire for the ‘greatest’ of our modern speeches? It’s an interesting question (that I don’t know the answer to).

More disturbing though, was my discovery on first reading of the speeches. Each speech is given a short introduction, giving the speech a context of time, place, historical significance and audience. It’s a neat way of framing how and why they are so important to our nation, or why they made a significant impact on their audience. Unfortunately, in the introduction to the first speech of the collection, King O’Malley’s 1903 oration on the future location of the nation’s capital, only a single sentence into the collection, I lost faith in the editor and publisher. The extract reads as follows:

"When the Australian colonies united in one indissoluble Commonwealth on 1 January 2001, a site for the new national capital had not yet been selected."

I’m sorry… 2001?! I wasn’t aware that we didn’t have a capital only four years ago. I seem to remember Canberra being around before the new millennium. I read on, searching for the context which made this make sense. Unfortunately it doesn’t appear to be there. In the first speech, first sentence, first ‘fact’ of this collection they have unraveled months and months of work, preparation and publishing by getting the most basic information wrong. How can you believe anything that comes after that? The publication’s credibility was shot in my book. After that, my ability to enjoy the book was compromised.

After reading it, I found my reaction to be much as I expected. Some of the speeches were obvious, many were moving, and some I found boring. And yes, I had my issues with some of the selections. Russell Crowe ‘s Academy Award acceptance speech for Gladiator, while it mentions Australia, doesn’t seem to say anything particularly moving, enlightening or even entertaining about us as a nation. Perhaps that’s just personal opinion. I was more that happy to read many of the other less ‘political’ speeches, including Andrew Denton’s 1994 speech about Allan Border which was the most entertainment I’ve ever gotten from anything cricket related, and even Pope John Paul II’s Alice Springs speech to a collection of Indigenous Australians who had traveled from all over the country to hear him speak.

The final straw for me though, and what I didn’t expect from a Rhodes Scholar and former prime ministerial adviser was such a lack of female presence in the collection. A mere four out of 74 speeches are made by women. All four of these are in the section on equal rights. Surely somewhere in our history, especially more recently, women have had something interesting to say? While many of the speeches are more political in nature and obviously this is an area which women have only recently begun to influence, you only need to look at Natasha Stott Despoja to find an impassioned and eloquent speaker who has spoken on some of our most contentious and interesting public debates. None of her speeches are great enough for inclusion?

And what about outside the political sphere? It seems hard to imagine that if Russell Crowe has something interesting to express about our country that other such Australian women have had something relevant to say. What about inspiring women such as Dame Elisabeth Murdoch? I have heard her give elegant, simple speeches inspiring those around her to become involved in some of our nation’s most important issues and charities. Even in the section of speeches remembering valued Australians, no women are remembered and/or speak.

Perhaps it is just my dislike of the marginalization of women all over our country which I don’t enjoy. But maybe if Fullilove had bothered to scratch the surface of our history, he would have discovered some of the inspiring words spoken by women all over this country.

Student media in the face of VSU

Published: The Big Issue Nov 2005

Barnaby Joyce has consistently voiced his opposition to the proposed VSU legislation in its current form, and in the wake of ‘The Crossing’ it seems Nelson is already on the back foot. Joyce crossing the floor has effects further reaching than on the Trade Practices Act bill. He has shown the Government that he (might) mean what he says; if he says he’s prepared to cross the floor, they now understand that he might just do that. For student associations this has raised hopes that he may do so again to stop the current VSU legislation presented to Parliament.

For student media however, even Dr Nelson’s latest public comments indicating it is likely the government will abandon plans to push through VSU legislation in time for the 2006 academic year are no cause for celebration. While Joyce opposes VSU legislation in its current form, the amendments he proposes are much the same as the ones being called for by the Labor party and the Australian Vice-Chancellors’ Committee. They are pushing for what is neatly being called “service-based VSU” (an option which enables unions and guilds to continue to receive funds for running child-care services, sports centers and even bars). Our media outlets are ineligible to receive funding under this model. We are relegated to the category of ‘political activity’, not even worthy of the ‘service’ tag.

How is it we aren’t considered a service? Student media provides training grounds for new writers, spaces for young people to create the kinds of media they want to see, it reflects their own experiences and voices. Without it debate will die down, campus activities and events will go unpublicised, students will lose their voice. Where will students learn about the editing process they will be subjected to in ‘the real world’, learn the practical application of the theory taught in their classes or get that all-important first folio piece that proves they are capable of writing publishable work? Students will be expected to enter the competitive media marketplace with no real skills to speak of.

The problem is, we have no power. We can send out press releases to government, university administrations and the media berating what may happen to a vibrant youth media sector, we can prepare submissions to senate enquiries, but any real change will be in the hands of cash-strapped universities and an unfriendly government. Even with Barnaby Joyce’s determination to block current VSU legislation our futures are insecure. Joyce will settle for the first sign of support for regional and rural campuses, be that in the form of service-based VSU or special grants or funding.

At the National Student Media Conference (which recently took place as part of the This Is Not Art festival in Newcastle), new ideas emerged about approaching our universities for funding, increasing advertising, new funding models, new ways to publish in other formats and any number of other ways forward. A new push for the National Youth Media Network has emerged, with spirited debate over what this body may be able to do for our student media community. This network may be able to provide the cohesion that we so desperately need in the face of VSU legislation.

There has also been a return to a more grass-roots focus on youth media. Student media makers are passionate; we may suffer a loss in funding, a devastating blow to the history of our treasured magazines, radio and television stations, but we won’t give up. We will take to the photocopiers if we have to, re-converge online, beg or borrow funding from new sources, shout our messages out in university bars… but we won’t let VSU legislation silence student voices on our campuses.